How do I find a real au pair

Question of the week (15 August). Host mom Ana from Spain is angry about au pair applicants who do not have serious intentions about their au pair employment. Her British au pair changed her mind shortly before her due start date. Ana asks: How can I make sure that I find a "real" au pair who is serious about his/her intention to work for us? 

Hello AuPairWorld,

I am a host mom and have recently found a British au pair. She intended to come, however, shortly before the scheduled date, she suddenly informed me that her family had not approved her wish to work as an au pair. I had invested a lot of time and effort for that purpose. Now I have to start on a new search. How can I avoid such rejections in the future?

Ana from Spain

Reply of the AuPairWorld Support Team

Dear Ana,

It can sometimes happen that an au pair does not arrive at his/her host family's home. Fortunately, this happens very rarely. There are some things you can do in advance to avoid such a situation. However, you should keep in mind that there is no guarantee that the search process will be a hundred per cent successful. Life and people are simply too diverse to achieve that. In the Question of week of 1 August, we have prepared for you a list of the most important questions you should ask your au pair.

Speak extensively with each other in advance. Thus, you will find out more about the au pair's motivation and expectations behind his/her application.

  • Ask your au pair for references.
  • Can he/she look after your children or does he/she only wish to keep travelling?
  • Does the au pair have a basic knowledge of your language?
  • Do her parents, partner and friends support his/her plans?
  • Should your au pair be young, it would make sense to talk to his/her parents as well, if possible.
  • What is the most important thing to the au pair? Is it only about money or does he/she truly want to be a „real“ au pair?
  • Inform your au pair in advance about the duties he/she will have to accomplish. Draw up a timetable.
  • Furthermore, note down your arrangements in the au pair contract.
  • Meet your au pair in advance or skype each other.

Thus, you can assess how well you match and whether you have mutual expectations. Listen to your heart before you make up your mind! We hope that you soon find a matching au pair.

Your AuPairWorld Support Team

Please select a language

Log in to AuPairWorld


Security question

If you forget your password, you must answer a security question correctly. Only then will it be possible to reset your password and regain access to your profile. Please select a question now and enter an answer for it.